


Too much to bare

by fullmoontonightt



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Blind Date, F/M, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up, Public Sex, blowjob, exes getting back together, lots of feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-20
Updated: 2016-06-20
Packaged: 2018-07-16 07:21:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7257961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fullmoontonightt/pseuds/fullmoontonightt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>“Bellamy,” She huffs out, her voice incredibly soft, “what are you doing here?”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He visibly swallows, struggling to find the words. In the end he just shrugs, looking up into her eyes. “O send me here to meet a friend of hers. You?”</em>
</p><p>  <em>Clarke’s making up excuses to why she’d be in a restaurant by herself, for some reason not wanting to share the fact she’s on a date, when it hits her. </em></p><p>  <em>Of course. Of fucking course. O for Octavia. Bellamy and Octavia. She's on a blind date with Bellamy.</em></p><p>Based on the prompt: 'blind date except we already dated'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too much to bare

At least the restaurant’s nice, Clarke thinks as she takes a sip from the dry white wine she ordered a few minutes ago. Because the restaurant is nice, surprisingly so. Small wooden tables fill up the room, delicate fairy lights hang from the ceiling, all of it creating a warm and..romantic atmosphere. Clarke bites her lip as she tries to repress the flicker of hope that gives her for tonight.

She then sighs, because why is she even here? She should never have agreed to this. She hates blind dates, the few she’s been on before had all ended in disasters, especially the one where the asshole turned out to have a girlfriend. She prefers to know who’s she’s about to spend a night with, not just their facebook profile picture.

Clarke feels her eyes widen as she realizes she hadn’t even seen the guy’s photo. Fucking Octavia and her fucking smooth talk.

Annoyed Clarke pulls out her phone and fires a quick angry text Octavia’s way. She does not want to be here, especially now she realized she doesn't know a single thing about the guy. The only reason she’d even said yes was because Octavia wouldn’t shut up about it. Ever since the girl discovered her brother was coming to visit her for the weekend she’d nagged Clarke about going out on a date with him. Saying that the two of them would be perfect for each other.

And as if that didn’t sound like a bad enough idea, Clarke was also stupid enough to agree.

So now she’s here, in a small restaurant in some outskirt of New York, waiting nervously for a guy she’s never seen before to join her.

It’s not that she doesn’t trust Octavia, she knows Octavia knows her well enough to know with what type of guys she’d match, but it’s the brother aspect that scares her. If Clarke fucks this up, Octavia will know. Clarke can’t be honest about what she thought, because Octavia won’t take it.

Especially with how close the two are. Even though Clarke’s never met the guy, the hour-long phone calls and constant text messages between them are proof enough that the two put each other above everyone else.

So Clarke needs to do this right. No fuck ups allowed.

Her wine glass is almost empty and there’s still no sign from her date. The ober gives her a pitiful smile when she orders another glass and Clarke rolls her eyes. She doesn’t have any fear of being stood up, she knows Octavia would kill her brother if he even dared to not show his face.

Her gaze wanders around the restaurant, at the delicate wooden frames that mark the ceiling, at the woman sitting at the table next to her, all dressed up in a lacy red dress, across a guy still in his stained work shirt. Clarke can’t help her grin, though a feeling of pity fills up her chest as well.

“Clarke?”

The voice sounds rough, filled with disbelief, as it cuts right through Clarke’s thoughts.

Clarke recognizes it the moment it reaches her ears, not even needing to look up. Because that’s not just any voice, that’s the voice that she spent months loving. The voice that would whisper loving compliments into her ear in the morning, it’s the voice that would tell her greek myths with fascination, it’s the voice that would drip with a flirtatious sarcasm whenever they’d hang out, it’s the voice that cracked when she moved away.

She looks up to see him staring at her, standing in front of her table, and her heart aches when she notices he hasn’t changed at all. His dark hair still seems as messy and unable to groom, he’s still wearing the same old shirts. It’s just his eyes that are now looking at her with sorrow instead of the cockiness she was used to seeing.

“Bellamy,” She huffs out, her voice incredibly soft, “what are you doing here?”

He visibly swallows, struggling to find the words. In the end he just shrugs, looking up into her eyes. “O send me here to meet a friend of hers. You?”

Clarke’s making up excuses to why she’d be in a restaurant by herself, for some reason not wanting to share the fact she’s on a date, when it hits her.

Of course. Of fucking course.

O for Octavia. Bellamy and Octavia. She's on a blind date with Bellamy. Clarke sighs, pressing her eyes closed, and fights the urge to hit herself on the head. How could she not have known this? How could she not have know the two of them were related? She’s been living with Octavia for a year now and she dated Bellamy for five months, how could she have never figured out their connection?

They even have the same stupid, godforsaken hero complex.

“You’re Octavia’s brother,” She murmurs out, realizing she hadn't spoken in a while.

She can see his eyes widening when he too grasps their situation. He turns around, shaking his head. “How is this real?”

A laugh forms in her throat, because how was this real? How was this happening to her?

He looks back up at her, an amused sparkle of laughter hinting in his eyes. He takes a step forward, his hand doubtfully reaching out to the empty chair across her. An unsure smile at his lips. “Is it okay if I sit down?”

Clarke nods, not trusting her voice at this point. She doesn’t know how she feels about this, about them having dinner together like they used to, but it’s awkward already, might as well try to make the best of it. And she’s pretty sure Octavia will kill her if she doesn’t even give Bellamy a chance.

She looks up at him, at how he’s staring at her with the same look as he used to, and she can feel her old feelings rising to the surface. For a while they just take each other in, neither of them have changed an awful lot but there are still changes to note.

“So how’ve you been?” She asks, breaking the intense pull between them.

Bellamy shakes his head, clearing his throat as he too looks down. “Yeah, it’s been okay. Got a new job, at Kian’s mechanic, remember we brought the bike there once?”

Clarke nods, remembering the place. They’d had sex in the bathroom stall while they waited for the guy to fix Bellamy’s derby. She huffs out a breath, biting at her lip at the memory.

In front of her Bellamy chuckls, clearly thinking about the same thing. Clarke feels her cheeks redden, but can’t help the small smile coming to her lips. Her time with Bellamy had been a good one, a really good one. Of all the relationships she’s been in it was the one that felt most natural, that flowed without needing effort, that she liked most. When it became clear Clarke would have to move from Chicago to New York to finish her medical program, they decided to give long distance a swing and proved everyone right: it just doesn’t last.

She turns her head, still biting at her lip, and chuckles. “Well, this is awkward.”

Across from her he huffs out a breath, causing for his nose to scrunch in that cute way it does when he can’t control his laughter, before looking back at her. An intense gleam in his eyes. “Is it?”

As much as she wants to look away she can’t, the intensity in his eyes forcing her to stay. The weight of his words fall down upon her shoulder. Because she realises it’s not as awkward as it probably should be.

“It doesn’t have to be, you know,” he continues, knowing that her silence wouldn’t be ending soon, “awkward.”

A small sigh falls from her lips as she looks down at her still empty plate. Her hand reaches for her glass of wine and she takes another sip. Her skin tingles.

“I missed you.” Bellamy admits from where he’s still seated in the exact same position, eyes still fixed on her.

She lowers her glass and presses her eyes closed as she knows there’s no avoiding this anymore. Her voice is soft when she speaks up. “I missed you too.”

His surprised frown makes annoyance fill up her chest. Of course she’d missed him, why did he think she didn’t? She frowns. “I know I might not have always shown it but I did okay.”

“I know princess, I just didn’t really think you wanted me in your life anymore.”

She sighs and she can feel her throat tightening. “Of course I wanted to, but I don't know I didn’t want to get hurt, you know I ..”

“..push people away?” He finishes for her. “I know alright, I just never thought I’d be one of those people.”

The gleam in his eyes turns sad and her heart drops realizing she is the one that caused it. Her voice sounds weak when she speaks up. “And I never wanted you to be one of those people. I always thought you’d be the one who stayed.”

The way his eyes widen at her words does things to her. She silently curses herself when she feels her old feelings for the boy in front of her rising to the surface.

“Fuck Clarke, you can’t just say things like that. I’ve barely gotten over you.”

She looks into his eyes, which are wide open and filled with a mixture of longing and pain. She can feel herself feeling the same things, especially after what he just said, and shakes her head trying to get all these familiar feelings and thoughts out of her head. They can’t do this, it didn’t work out for a reason, doing this again would just end in disaster.

But as they look at each other from across the table Clarke can’t realizes she hasn’t felt like this in a long time. She’s jumpy, her heart fluttering inside her chest. She’s nervous, afraid to say the wrong this. She’s happy, hearing him laugh had done her good. She also feels warm, her stomach tightening whenever he looks at her. None of the dates she’s had since Bellamy made her feel like this. None were this intense

“None of them were you.” She whispers, only now realizing it herself.

“What?” Bellamy asks. “None of who were me?”

Clarke feels her cheeks turn red. Fuck, she had not meant to say that out loud. She feels herself fill with shame and moves to stand up, this all was becoming too much to bare. Seeing him like this again, all loving and wanting, was becoming too much to bare.

But he stands up as well, grabbing a hold of her wrist and pulling her towards him. His voice an angry but raspy whisper in her ear. “Were none of your other dates like me, Clarke? None of them made you feel like I do, none of them fucked you like I can? You love none of them like you still love me?”

“Bell..” She almost whines, trying to pull her hand out of his but his grip is too firm. Too strong.

“No Clarke, I’m not letting you get away from me again. Tell me, do you still love me?”

As she looks at the desperate need she finds in his eyes she can’t help but tell the truth. “Fuck Bell, of course I do.”

She hears the clattering of plates on wood before she processes she’s being pulled over the table for a kiss that can only be described as bruising. His lips slammed against hers, the force of it pushing her back a little but his hand are there to get her back towards him again. His lips grind against hers, rough and harsh and filled with need. His hand is on her jaw, his grip so firm Clarke knows she’ll still feel it for days. She quickly lets her lips fall open, allowing his tongue to dart inside. It moves like this is the last chance it’s going to get and Clarke groans at the shiver that sends through her body. The feeling of his tongue against hers is like coming home and discovering something new at the same time. 

She moves her hand up into his hair, getting lost in the slick and warm and oh so good feeling of his tongue against hers. Bellamy kisses like he wants her to feel how much he missed this, his tongue sweet but demanding and his hands moving around as if to rediscover all of her. She moans into his mouth before pulling him away from her, roughly pulling on his hair as she does so. Her voice sounds weak when she speaks up. “We’re in the middle of a restaurant Bellamy.”

“I actually couldn’t care less.” He looks at her from beneath the few now messy strands of hair that had come to rest over his eyes and his eyes are filled with a want that sends sparks through Clarke’s stomach. Their foreheads are still touching so Clarke knows he felt her slight shiver at seeing him look at her like that. His hand is still on her jaw, grip bruising. “But we’ll go if you want to.”

  
She quickly nods and he grins, before finally backing up and giving her the space she needs to recover. Her eyes dart around the room to see that most people are staring at them. That or pretending not to stare. Clarke can’t help the small smile from coming to her lips, but does feel her cheeks reddening at the attention they’ve gathered. Bellamy just grabs her hand, smirking the entire time he guides her out of the restaurant.

The fresh outside air hasn’t hit her face for more than a second before Bellamy is pulling her into an ally and pinning her against the ally wall. He kisses her hard and demanding but short, not even giving her a chance to participate. As he backs away he looks at her with this..wonder in his eyes and it makes her feel as if they’ve never been apart. Then he groans, dropping his head on her shoulder. She laughs at the familiarity, pushing him off and trying to fight the joyful smile she can feel rising to her lips. He sees it though, he always sees it, and mirrors hers with his own. “Jesus Clarke, you have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

“I think I do.” She smiles before rising to her toes to kiss him once again.

Their kiss quickly turns heated, Clarke still pressed against the wall, trapped underneath his broad body. Her hands are tangled in his hair, her favourite place to put them, and his are moving around her back, finally halting at the curve of her ass. She moans as his hand squeezes down and moves her hands to pull him closer. He groans into her mouth and it’s the hottest thing she’s felt in a while. His body’s hot against hers and she can feel the hard outlines of his stomach underneath his shirt. She grinds her hips up, becoming slightly desperate, wanting more touch. She can’t help but release another moan when she finds a growing erection waiting for her. He moans too, breaking their kiss in favor of breathing roughly into her neck. She tilts her head back, clawing at his shoulders to pull him closer. He mouths at her neck, kissing it all over before sucking briefly, just to tease.

Then he speaks up against her neck, his voice raspy and breathless. “Can we please go back to your place?”

She huffs out an unhappy laugh, which sounds more like a whine because Bellamy’s gone back to sucking at the sensitive spot above her collarbone. “I live with your sister remember?”

He releases a sound also resembling more of a whine than anything else and unhappily drops his head against her shoulder. “Why does god hate me?”

Clarke laughs, grabbing his hip and twisting the two of them around, so that Bellamy’s the one backed against the wall. He looks at her with surprise, but there’s a grin hinting at his lips. Clarke smirks, moving her hand down to palm his erection through his jeans. “I don’t see why we can’t finish this here.”

He hisses, letting his head fall backwards against the wall. “Fuck I really do love you.”

Clarke laughs, smirking as she drops to her knees and her smirk only intensifies when she sees how Bellamy’s eyes widen. Zipping open his jeans she can barely contain her own want, fuck she’s missed this more than she thought. Missed him more than she thought. More than she allowed herself to think.

Maybe a bit too forcefully she pulls down his simple black boxers and grabs at his dick, but at the groan she hears coming from above he doesn’t seem to really mind. It feels so surreal to have him in her hands again, the familiar shape and weight of him. Her mouth waters, fuck she wants to feel that inside her again.

But she wants to taste it too, so badly, and she knows they can probably only do one thing here without getting caught. So she takes him into her mouth and preems at the hiss it gets her. Her hand is curled tightly around his base as she lets her tongue explore the head. It’s all so weird, because on one hand it’s so familiar, which makes it so good, but it also feels so different, which also makes it so good. She swallows her own groan when she feels him twitch in her hand. Her tongue is swirling around the base, flicking his slit roughly, before gently twirling around the sensitive borders. His hips buck forwards and forces his member deeper into her mouth, Clarke just groans, taking more of him in. She start bobbing her head up and down, whilst still letting her tongue twirl around, and tightens her grip on his dick. She starts taking more of him in each go and he slowly and instinctively starts pushing up his hips, wanting to get deeper into her warmth. His hands land in her hair and pull and Clarke fucking loves it. They go on like that for a little longer until Bellamy suddenly halts, grip on her hair tightening, and Clarke smirks around his dick. She moves down one last time, sucking immensely, and he groans as his come spills down her throat.

He lets his head drop against the wall, breathing heavy, and Clarke grins as she stands up. Bellamy takes her into his arms, not as rough and needy as before, but gentle and loving. He moves one hand to her face and brushes a lost strand of hair away. The way he looks at her then is what settles it all for Clarke. The genuine..admiration and..love she finds in his expression make her realize that this is the guy she want to be with. Now and forever.

She breathes out, an intensity filling up her chest, and looks at him. She shakes her head. “Breaking up with you was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.”

He laughs, loud and bubbly, and throws his arms over her shoulders, pulling her against his chest. She buries herself into his neck and can’t help the smile breaking open her face when she hears his response. “Couldn’t agree more princess.”

Clarke huffs out a breath at the old nickname, shaking her head at upcoming memories, and suddenly everything inside of her feels calm. As if everything was now finally at peace. She looks up at Bellamy, at the blissed out expression on his face and she realizes it is. With him, it is all at peace. She buries herself into his chest once more, happy and wanting this moment to last as long as it can.

“Though princess,” she hears him start above her, “you have done plenty of stupid things.”

She laughs, backing out of his embrace to hit him on the chest. “I have not, name one thing!”

“Umh what about the whole Finn situation? Or the wodka lemon situation? Or the painting class situation?”

“No one of those things were my fault!”

“Really Clarke? Whose were they then? Because they certainly weren’t mine.”

“Oh shut up, you know that you are almost solely responsible for how much wodka I drank that night. Asshole.”

“Asshole huh? You seemed to enjoy this asshole at the time.”

Clarke just rolls her eyes, playfully pushing him away, as he moves to zip up his pants. As he looks up she can feel a fondness coming over her and she smiles, grabbing a hold of his hand and guiding him out of the ally. "Come on asshole, let's go home."

**Author's Note:**

> little thingy i've been distracting myself with


End file.
